11| Why Ayurveda?

A reflection on how Ayurveda moved from something I received as a patient to something I now study, practice and trust as a path back to body, beauty and deeper intelligence.

originally written 13th May 2026

I’ve often asked myself if it is contrived to study an ancient healing system originating from a country I was not born in. Is this ‘mine’ to share with the world? ‘Mine’ to support people with? And yet history shows us that we all came from the same, are the same. Spiritual teachings too - at the level of consciousness, soul, spirit - also remind us that there is no separation. And science again admits that nature does not always behave as though objects have fully independent properties - we are entangled, life is entangled. And, we are a living ecology of part human cells but also part bacteria, fungi, viruses, food residues, microbial metabolites, ancestral adaptations, soil traces, stress chemistry and the minerals of last night’s dinner becoming absorbed (hopefully) in our colon.

Ayurvedic sages encouraged that the wisdom of Ayurveda - that I have just finished my first year of theoretical study in - naturally exists within each of us. It ‘belongs’ to all of us; maybe even ‘is’ all of us. Like with so many things, it is a journey of creating enough stillness inside the body and mind to uncover this knowing, to be able to see and hear clearly enough to allow this to be sensed within. This is not yet something that I feel I am able to sense - nor is a genuine felt sense of oneness something I continually (or even regularly) experience - but I hold lightly onto the silvery spider-web threads of faith and trust that things will shift. Nothing is static afterall...

It is the same with intuition - have you ever felt there are times in life where you feel there is a deep sense of trust and ability to simply follow your heart* and other times where you feel so far away from this? If you stopped to assess what the internal and external conditions at play at that time were; I feel certain there would have been a notable degree of difference in the depth of fullness within and outside you. When we are too full, we are far from the truth of our heart. But when we empty…alchemy feels as though it can ooze from our fingertips…

The Healing System That Found Me

Beyond Ayurveda being part of me. Beyond ultimately us all being the same as each other. Perhaps the most profound reason why I feel drawn to study and practice Ayurveda is that, in the thick of my health complications, it was the healing system that quite literally moved my mind, body and spirit the most spectacularly. At the time, I had been living for two years with a body I no longer fully trusted. There was the physical discomfort in my face, head, arms and sometimes other places, the fatigue and constant need to be in bed, the strange symptoms like numbness in one side of my face and reflexes slowing that seemed to move around like weather and then the secondary illness of health anxiety that wrapped itself around everything. I had become hyper-attuned to my body, but not necessarily connected to it. Ayurveda was the first system that seemed to meet the whole thing - the symptoms, the fear, the depletion, the story beneath my body.

And yet by daring to dive into Ayurveda with commitment and trust and patience, not only did my vitality re-emerge like that delicate spring crocus but something more mysterious also happened when I spent six weeks perched on the Wayanad hillside at Udayagiri Centre.

It’s as though the quietness of the 4.30am wake-ups for the morning pooja ceremony and the tidal ebbs and flows of each day’s unchanging rhythm became etched into my soul. It’s as though the constant empathy and tiny acts of kindness witnessed my suffering in an unfamiliar way - teaching me how to speak with more self-compassion, to admit and hold the gravity of the unfurling that had been happening since I first got sick. It’s as though the dance of the prayers and mantras, each seasoned with gratitude and hope, vibrated through my cells in a way where they taught them there was another way to exist. Courageously unlearning and relearning their cellular intelligence.

It’s as though the simplification of life - an entire erasure of things to do, to plan, to organise, to even think about - flooded my body and mind with a deep, deep rest that I had never experienced before. Tasting the qualities of such a rest, for such a prolonged period of time means that it is a memory of peacefulness and cellular calm that I can now evoke in my memories and return to. It means that my body deeply knows what it feels like to be a human being and so now gently begs me to keep returning to that state like the breeze that whispers through ancient Caledonian forest.

I arrived hardened from health anxiety and the brutalist walls of the UN compound in Nairobi I had been spending day in and out contained within. I left softened from the daily oiling and physical touch, from the care that had been radiated by every person at the centre, from the permission to fully surrender, holding not a single tear or fear back and from a chapter spent living in wooden, breathing walls nestled within nature’s embrace.

An introduction to Ayurveda through a deep panchakarma reset is not easy (nor often necessary). And this is not something I would ever suggest approaching casually or without experienced guidance. We are talking about consuming daily spoonfuls of ghee, intense treatments such as ‘therapeutic’ vomiting (vamana), no phone or caffeine, restricted foods and minimal exertion. But the effects of this tissue reduction therapy are colossal. I watched a woman who could not move her hands from such bad arthritis leave two weeks later with full mobility. A man with a lifetime of asthma left with clear respiration despite the spring-time pollen. And the same for a woman with IBS. I myself made seismic shifts in the symptoms I had been experiencing for the two years prior.

It is not that these conditions go away forever, we all have weak spots in our system. But Ayurveda undoubtedly is able to put them into remission or reduce their severity. Think of it as the emptying of a bucket too full. Ayurveda empties but inevitably life begins to fill the bucket up again, be that through emotional toxins such as anger or physical toxins such as nail-varnish and cleaning products or the toxins that arrive through us not digesting our food properly.

So, What Is Ayurveda?

But let me take a pause for a second as I realise many may still be wondering what this Ayurveda is!?

Ayurveda is the science of life, the knowledge of life gathered through perception and intuition and a deeper knowing. It is the curious and patient path of remembering our true nature by bringing our body into harmony and balance so that we are better able to reach a state of liberation, free from the illusion of separatedness.

It delicately teaches us that we are what we eat, what we smell, what we touch, taste, see and hear. And ultimately what we believe, the truths we tell ourselves. It therefore deeply requires the cultivation of consciousness. The management of our sense organs. A healthy relationship with our ego.

It is not a science of avoiding dis-ease but of leveraging these states to reconnect with our higher selves, of bringing greater presence and gratefulness and joy into our daily lives and actions. It reveals to us where we are unaligned, where we are stressed and where we are acting from a sense of separateness rather than wholeness.

With these data-points of self awareness, we can begin to transform to inter-be in a way that is more life-giving, more regenerative, more beautiful.

It is a healing system that supports us to bring our unique systems into their own natural equilibrian. No two of us are exactly the same…ever. It is founded on the idea of balance - that like will increase like and the opposite will bring balance. So at the most simpliest, if we are a firey individual, in the heat of summer, suffering from imfammation we want to avoid taking in more fire, more heat, more sharpness, more lightness. We want to bring in the opposite qualities to restore. We also must always address the root of dis-ease not the symptom. And the way in which we address depends on our unique nature - of mind, of body, of spirit. No two ways in which two people heal will ever be the same. (Can you see the stark divergence from the model that western medicine is built on?)

The inflammation is there because there was first a disturbance in the digestive system (in this example the small intestine), and//or in the mind of the person. It has overflown into the lymphatic and circularory system and relocated to now present these symptoms which we notice…but if we only reduce the inflammation, say with an anti-inflammatory pill then it will simply just come back somewhere else at another point. The root of the disturbance remains. So Ayurveda patiently addresses the mind, addresses the digestive system and works with the lymphatic and circulatory systems to bring the body back to harmony.

The body, like the tides, has a natural ability to alleviate disturbances but only if given the right conditions, or the breathing space to do so. When it doesn’t the support of a practitioner (or your own knowledge as you come to learn about yourself in this way more) helps reverse this ‘overflow’ by (at the most foundational level) working with the five elements and the ten opposing qualities that they each contain.

The ways in which we do this will be explored in future essays as the modalities are exapansive in themselves, stretching far beyond food and herbs into the different layers of our body, across energy centers and further and further a-field. For me, it will be a lifetime of curiosity and experimentation to even begin to sense into the depth that this body of healing holds.

The Ancient Roots of Ayurveda

Ayurveda’s roots are not in books but in sages who listened and inquired into the state of the body and how that body relates to all that it is surrounded by (and inter-is with). They observed the subtler rhythms and energy beneath the physical manifestation of the body to understand what may be causing the great illnesses of the time.

The story goes that one such sage was appointed to receive this ancient wisdom from Brahma; it was then passed on to other divine healers into the hands of Lord Dhanvantari who rose from the cosmic ocean holding the nectar of immortality (the wisdom to optimal health). This wisdom was then passed on verbally for a long time until it was written down in a series of significant texts, each with a different orientation and evolution of thought and practice. Eventually seers like Charaka gathered it into verse, not to invent Ayurveda, but to remember it more fully from within (for it is within us all).

In this way Ayurveda continues to live as an intuitive way of observing and seeing, deeply intertwined with nature, rather than a logical, left-brain system that can be simplified and adulterated by a short-sighted desire for efficiency.

Why It Matters Now

And this, I feel, is why it means something precious to me personally. I’ve long sensed the way in which so much of society is choosing to relate to life is nothing short of dangerous. Stripped of essence, of beauty, of the magnitude of slowness. Are we even relating at all or are we merely interacting?

As I received Ayurveda as a patient, practiced it on myself and am devoted to deeply learning it both theoretically and experientially, I become more and more aware of how by embodying this science of life we can become empowered to heal ourselves and live a life of greater attunement and beauty. And, by engaging with an Ayurvedic practitioner yourself, you too can become empowered in the same way.

Our bodies are inherently WISE. Discombobulatingly wise! If only we support them with the right conditions to work their magic. What is a witch without her cauldron? An owl without his eyes? A butterfly without her chrysalis? And all without rest? Ayurveda, for me, is becoming a way of remembering that healing is less about controlling the body and more about creating the conditions in which it can return to its own intelligence.

With Peace, Tash x

*thank you dear Sophie for this definition of intuition being to follow our hearts, so simple yet SO profound

What’s been sparking my curiosity?

Hearing: the potent words shared on War & Peace in the Plum village podcast; a reminder that even the energy of an activist believing they are supporting the ‘right’ side, we are contributing to creating a world where violence prevails

Seeing: colobus monkeys with shaggy tails jumping their heavy weight from branch to branch in my Tigoni workplace

Tasting: millet and teff flatbread, an earthy unusual taste for our modern palletes so attuned to the usual suspects of rice, wheat and barley

Smelling: eucalyptus essential oil burning slowly in my Ladakhi diffuser, invigorating my mind for study

Touching: slightly slimey cashews that had been soaked to make fresh milk, noticing how much the texture softens and imaginating what affect this too must have in by body

Feeling: a sense of union between body and mind as practice yoga with the inspiring Rebekah in the foothills of Mount Kenya

Ending with a short poem I wrote about my health journey in recent years:

Something is Shifting

It is daunting stepping towards a new orientation when life’s trajectory feels quite meaningful, interesting, fruitful
Sustainable food systems…
Isn't this what so many dream of working on?
Isn't this where astronomical impact can be created for people and planets alike?

But sometimes the body simply says ‘nuh-uh’
It lets you know that something ain't quite right
That you need to listen, you need to slow
That I needed to listen, I needed to slow

Covid vaccination sent my system west

(I’ll let you ponder that saying for a minute)

Aching arms, tingling over body, numbness in face, inflammation all common place
Nasty parasites prevented me from getting the nutrients I needed to heal and worsened neuroinflammation
Kidneys gave up rendering me in fear and agony for ten days in hospital
Reflexes momentarily stopped
My underlying viruses seemed not to be helping matters
The PCOS, who knows!?
Lingering car crash injury and vagal tone dysregulation, I mean, yikes
Oh and not to mention my body’s methylation process naturally thwarted

I battled for a few years
Yes, battled…
There wasn't a lot of surrender 
Health anxiety rife
It was lonely
I felt alone

Doctors and neurologists tried but I just felt like a number
A grey-area in their textbooks they didn't know what to do with 
She doesn't fit here
That doesn't fit there
Their ‘solution’ … alleviate symptoms

How? 
Go on antipsychotics 
We can't find a cure
You just need to calm down
Wow, just wow

My intuition said this wasn't the answer
I know my body
I'm not against anti-depressants at all, they helped me enormously in earlier life
Gave me the breathing space I needed to make changes
But this time I didn't want a plaster
I wanted to feel
I wanted to address the roots

I was never asked once by the medical profession how I was feeling with all this
Empathy distant
Too fixated on the unfixable problem to fix
They tried their best; their own education sadly failed them; their own system’s constraints limited them
I don't blame 
And yet it simply fell short of what I needed

Instead I said goodbye to my career with the UN
Left my life in Kenya
Packed a bag and headed to India
To explore an ancient healing system I had long been curious about 

For six weeks I was shown the utmost tenderness and care
Life simplified, life slowed
The mind simplified, the mind slowed
“My” mind

Rituals. 
Food as medicine.
Awakening before dawn.
Stretching the body to a rising sun.
Stillness.
Gratitude.
Deep treatments.
Empathetic listening.
Patience.
Nature.
Herbs.
Kindness.

Something profound began to shift in me
My body felt weaker but my spirits more alive
Sometimes we have to break down to be able to build up
To compost to be able to grow

I thought I came for the treatments 
But perhaps it was something deeper that appreciated attention 
What was this way of being that I had been exposed to?
That I had embodied without questioning
That I had ultimately, unconsciously started to become

“I”

Fast forward two years and I found myself studying Ayurvedic Medicine
A healing system that gave me hope
That nurtured my body back into good health
That enabled me to understand myself better

A healing system that is filled with beauty
With care
With attention
With nuance
With a reverence for the root
With a witnessing of the individual

Ayurveda
Quite simply is
The science of life
Holistic, unrushed, curious.

One year into my studies my hope to support people through this lens continues to ripen
Like that perfect summer peach
To hold the vulnerability that dis-ease (be it of body, mind or spirit) brings with tenderness
To help them find the peace and presence and balance that is hiding within
Peace in “their” bodies, in “their” minds, in the world around them 

After all,
Perhaps THAT’S what transitioning towards sustainable food systems needs most?
Inner change in service of outer change
At the end of the day, everything's interconnected.